“I’m sick of meeting with therapists who just talk in circles.”
“Yes, they’re kind and compassionate… but it feels like they repeat what I just said… and listen… but perhaps not any better than some of my friends.”
Frustrated, Mike* continued…
“And by the end of the session, he’s basically just asked me what I thought about it all. Well, if I had the answers to my own problems, I wouldn’t be here paying you, now would I??”
Mike called me and shared his grievance.
And after hearing him out, I asked, “What do you really want?”
“Well,” he said, “I just want answers… real answers… not bland truisms… or circular listening that helps me feel better momentarily but not in the long term.”
Exasperated, he continued: “I want to understand myself and how this connects. I really want to understand why I do the things I do and how to get out of my rut.”
In that simple request, I understood what he wanted.
He wanted something that most people are afraid to give: their wisdom and frank opinions.
Mike was ready… to hear the truth regardless of whether it was convenient, nice to hear, or hurt his feeling.
He was willing to go beyond the general superficialities of the day.
And after hearing his complaints, so was I.
We began our first session doing a lot of what most other therapists do: some CBT, DBT, and Ex/RP (the fancy acronyms for the types of therapy I use). And on paper, I looked like many other therapists – same license, same education…
So… what made our session different?
Did I really offer anything different that was worth coming to me?
Yes, it was different… and it was worth it. But it wasn’t magic.
I simply trusted that Mike was ready to hear the truth so that he could align his life to it. That’s the most therapeutically beneficial thing a person can receive.
I offered that young man something few people had the gall to do: tell him the truth and let him decide what to do with it.
Would he hate me?
Would he get offended?
Would he never come back?
Here’s the deal: None of that is my job. I wasn’t there to have him like me, make him feel good, or set him up for endless therapy sessions.
My job as a therapist was to open his mind to the truth – about his fears… his struggles… his defects… his patterns of behavior… his family patterns…
All of it!
I trust you’re ready, too.
Are you tired of half-truths and non-truths?
Aren’t you ready for the missing piece?
If that’s you, I want to walk this journey with you.
Give me a call today for a free 15-minute consultation: (713) 396-2742.
*Name changed to protect client confidentiality.